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Yesterday I received a phone call from someone selling placement and banner ads on Google. After asking to speak to the person making the marketing decisions for Girl on the Roof, he launched into a breathless pitch about how he could provide me with a good deal on banner ads and Google placement for Knoxville roofers.

What was that? Did you say “Knoxville roofers”?

I started laughing hysterically, but he didn’t notice because he was talking so quickly, trying to convince me that I could grow my roofing business through Google. I began talking over him, through my laughter. I said, “My company is not a roofing business, and if you had done a quick Google search yourself, you would have discovered that immediately.” I literally had to say this twice because he had not stopped talking, even for a beat, to hear me.

Finally there was a slight pause, followed by a defensive toned, “But the name of the business is Girl on the Roof.”

I desperately wanted to respond with bitter sarcasm, but I sort of felt sorry for the guy. He had broken the first and very obvious rule of marketing: Know Your Audience. He had done no research at all before placing a call to me. Then he broke the second rule by not listening to what I was saying.

He stammered briefly then resumed the chatter, just as quickly but with less confidence. Finding no pause in which I could respond politely (though, admittedly, I was amused by the entire conversation), I finally just spoke over him. I am quite sure he did not hear my response, but I was not going to hang around long enough to wait for another pause. Still, for posterity, and since the phone call may have been recorded (“for training purposes”), I said the following before hanging up: “Dude, thanks for the laugh today, but I am not interested in working with you. Next time you should do your homework before making a call.”

And my thanks were sincere. I laughed about it the rest of the day.

Yours truly,
Girl on the Roof

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